Peas On The Moon

I'm sitting here in front of my computer, waiting for the car to get home, thinking. I look around my room, and i see bits and pieces of me. I like my room. I designed it's interior myself. It's a mess of color, collages, flags, lights, stuff. Me. So I start thinking about change, and how i've changed, and well, developed... and i don't mean physically. But I guess I've done that too.

They say that the "teen years" are tough because one is trying to "find themselves". I have a tendency to agree to that. You are growing, and the pressure s on to try to find your own niche, but i think high school/junior high limits that. They force you to try to fit into place, or feel guilty that you don't . I'm thankful for University. It allows you to take a few things you are really interested in, and perhaps help you find where you belong, in your heart. There is less scrutiny. Or so i think, maybe i've just learned to ignore it. Either way, I've taken a few double takes on myself lately.

I'll say I was raised in a barn. I don't live on a farm, but I spent, and do spend, the majority of my time at Birch Lane Farm, where i have been riding for the past 9 years. This being said, my life used to consist of horses, school, friends and animals, all done wearing jeans and t-shirts. But people grow. I've stopped at 5'3. Someday I'll be tall. But for now I'll settle with broadening my horizons. I'm at university. I'm truly enjoying 2/3 courses. I'm proud to be able to say that, and hoping it's a sign. I've made some new friends, and instead of changing parts of me so they will accept me, i've started looking more for people who just like me for me. I still ride, I still love it. I still feel more at home in the barn then anywhere. I see and do things and events that i normally would not have done i.e. concerts and the like, and strangest of all, the reason for this rambling post in the first place is my realization of fashion. Not "let's buy what everyone else is buying" fashion so i can fit into the crowd, but buying and making things that represent me, and using fashion and the like to define me, as an individual. I've taken a liking to it. Yes i admit it. I don't mind wearing skirts anymore, my closet has become more multipurpose. I dress... for success? I dress for fun. Because i can. I'm not sure really why, but I like it. I admit it. And the best part is I'm not doing it for others. I'm selfish, and doing it for me. HA. I think that is all i have come to say.

Oh, and this post was somewhat fueled by the song "Emotional Girl" by Terri Clark....though I think I've gotten a bit off topic. But it is a great song. I highly recommend a listen, even if it IS country. Exteriors, interiors, appearences.. etc.;