Peas On The Moon

Many of you may remember my favorite saying in high school. It was brought back to my memory the other day in class when we were discussing an authors circular way of saying things.

"I didn't say that i didn't say it; i said that i didn't say that i said it."

I don't remember who said that. I apologize to it's author. I got it from the paper.

This quote led me to another quote i liked from high school. The one that's under my grad picture.

"I don't know half of you half as well as i should like; and i like less then half of you half as well as you deserve"

-Bilbo Baggins in LOTR

I'm not sure if there is a point to all of this. Reminiscence. Perhaps.

Meet my new friend KT Tunstall. She was introduced to me on the ELLEN show. I say check her out. She is a one woman band. So far this is one of my favorite songs of hers.

I don't want to be second best
Don't want to stand in line
Don't want to fall behind
Don't want to get caught out
Don't want to do without
And the lesson I must learn
Is that I've got to wait my turn

Looks like I got to be hot and cold
I got to be taught and told
Got to be good as gold
But perfectly honest
I think it would be good for me
Coz it's a hindrance to my health
I'm a stranger to myself

Miniature disasters and minor catastrophoes
Bring me to my knees
Well I must be my own master
Or a miniature disaster will be
It will be the death of me

I don't have to raise my voice
Don't have to be underhand
Just got to understand
That it's gonna be up and down
It's gonna be lost and found
And I can't take to the sky
Before I like it on the ground

And i need to be patient
And i need to be brave
Need to discover
How i need to behave
And I'll find out the answers
When i know what to ask
But i speak a different language
And everybody's speaking too fast

Miniature disasters and minor catastrophoes
Bring me to my knees

Well I must be my own master
I've got to run a little faster
I need to know I'll last if a little
Miniature disaster hits me
It could be the death of me

-"Minature Disasters" KT Tunstall

Being sick is kind of like being beaten up. Not that I'd truly know what that's like. Unless you count a couple of pretty bad falls off horses. Anyhow. As i was saying, Being sick is like being beaten up. Waking up is like coming to consciousness from a fight. Everything hurts and my head is pounding. This comes in waves throughout the day. Instead of headaches it's like someone punched you in the temple. Yeah, fun stuff. And the worst part is that in true beating fashion, just when you think you are going to get better it knocks you around again. It's a bastard.

Raining cats and dogs i've heard of, but raining frogs....yeah it was a weird movie.

Yesterday was my super longs class day. Ending with my favorite class. We seemed to come to a consensus in class yesterday that we all leave the class feeling smart. Though i add to that that i leave the class with a fuzzy head. It's odd though, my head my be fuzzy and my brain may be just about useless for the rest of the night, but i remain in the poco frame of mind all night. I'm still "there" and poco is coming out of my mouth but most of it is unconscious. There's something about sitting around a classroom with some very smart students, and a very smart wonderful professor, eating, and discussing postcolonial feminism that just does it for me.

Needless to say i was exhausted last night but once my head hit the pillow i knew sleep wasn't going to happen. I had hit the point where I had crossed the line. You know the one where you are so tired you are not. Shortly thereafter i was joined by lou and lost half the bed. We proceeded to toss and turn for the rest of the night. When i say this people frequently ask me why i just didn't kick him out so i could have the whole bed to sleep. It's kind of heard to explain. But the way i see it why should i spend a night that i know i won't sleep alone when i can have someone with me instead.

I'm trying to decide if it's a matter of "if" or "when" in terms of the shit hitting the fan at the university. I want to get some students together but I don't know where to start or what I want to do. I have to work on that.

I took a walk through the mall today and I couldn't help chuckling to myself. There is a new trend for spring which involves cargo cords/pants, and army pants. Things I've been wearing for a couple years now. I'm not sure whether I should feel old or trendy. I prefer trendy. Actually no, I prefer to be ahead of or slightly to the left of trends. Trends to me usually mean mass produced and mass worn items like brown roots boots which i choose to avoid.

I've come to the conclusion that I ask a lot of questions. I have also decided that I talk a lot. This is not news, I know. But I mean that if the questions are right, i'll answer almost anything. Though, as I type this I think this is a lie. I have my secrets. My pieces of the past that I want to keep there. But the initial stuff i can babble on about and theorize about to the sky.

This has been a tough week. It's flown by. I've had trouble keeping my academic brain working all week. Not even due to distractions, I just couldn't seem to find the switch after the break. I council myself by saying that some of the stuff I was trying to learn was really heavy theory. But that's the only excuse I can find. Today was a crazy stressful day. I had an 8:30 midterm....what idiot designed 830 midterms... grumble. I have reinstated my powerful hatred for science since the midterm. Later that day i got a disheartening paper back. Followed by a aggravating group presentation. And finally, followed by a very good Poco class. Though the readings I picked were tough I still felt good about the class, and learned a lot. My poor head came out hurting, but that's normal for that class, and not necessarily a bad thing.

I got my exam schedule this week. Thankfully I don't go till the end of the exam schedule. However, everything is piled into four days. Hopefully by then my secret lab will have invented a drug that will keep me awake and thinking well when i need it, and calm when i'm on the verge of insanity. Which will happen.

Bring on the weekend... which would sound better if i didn't have homework.

I was pondering today, the ways of love. Oooo don't all jump out of your seats yet. See I was thinking about three words; Love, Want, and Need. Part of me knows these are all separate entities and that they all exist without each other. But another part of me knows that they (perhaps too often) get jumbled together. I realize there can be different types of love, want, and need. What i feel for a family member is different then what i feel for a friend, and even more different then what i feel for a significant other (boyfriend, girlfriend etc.) The postmodernist in me wants to analyze these words and the girl in me thought of a quote.

"Am I that transparent? I *want* you, I *need* you, oh baby, oh baby."

-Kat Stratford in "10 Things I Hate About You"

She was being sarcastic when she said this. Mocking actually. It got me thinking. What exactly are the differences of these three words. I've decided we can have them all together, or none at all. Actually that is not much of a decision now is it. Regardless they form some interesting patterns and sometimes some very interesting relationships.

'Tis been a busy few days. House sitting, working, visiting people, cooking. So far over break I've made veggie samosas, pad thai noodles, chocolate covered cherries, and an apple tofu stirfry (though i had help with that one). Mmmmm. For the Thai noodles i took a trip into the Asian Food Store. Much fun with very helpful staff.

Work has been great. I'm learning lots and having fun while i do it.

I think that's all my excitement. Anyone want some leftover thai noodles or samosas?

Why can't I be happy when I have so many things going for me?

I'm getting really tired of this emotional roller coaster, but I'm more afraid of those around me getting tired of it first. As roundabout as this may sound, perhaps that is what sends it snowballing.